Spinning My Wheels: Running in Place

I need a destination. Lately, my teaching conversations have been deep. The work in my classroom reflects best practice (in workshop anyway). So why do I feel like I have all the right pieces but an overall feeling of disjointedness? When I read my favorite blogs, I realize how much I long to be writing more. I wonder if the meaning I am looking for in my classroom is directly connected to the depth of questioning I do through writing? The beginning of the school year is such a juggling act. Here is a list of where my energies have been during the months of September and October: 

• trying to help my girls adjust to their new routines (lots of emotional support in the evenings)
• building my own routines in the classroom
• building relationships with staff
• being present for my spiritual community at church
• building relationships with parents of my students

Here are some of the important parts of my own personal life I feel I have had to put on the back burner:

• writing
• reading
• learning about new ideas 
• sharing new ideas with others
• running
• listening to music
• finding new music

I know I am at the point in my life where wisdom comes from observing life patterns that evolve over time.  Instead of being emotionally resentful of this time of year, I long for objective perspective.  I wish I could remove the emotional component and just realize all the positive changes to come as a result of putting all this necessary energy into the bank.  I wish I were in touch with more teachers, second grade teachers, fifth grade teachers, educators who share my vision and can reassure me a time of ease is coming.  

The current political climate in education is also pushing against the positive energy we teachers are trying to keep central.  It just adds more noise to our already noisy day,  noise we are challenged to quiet.  

With the start of November I need to quiet the noise.  A change of the season brings a time of new beginnings.  Underneath the negative current created within our culture, ultimately due to our world economic state, there is hope; the creativity of the human spirit to overcome.  As educators we are called to lead this movement.  We have the tools, the access to the possibility of positive change in front of our very noses every day.  Instead of trying to control our students to fit into our molds of what we think is best for education, we should be working to unleash their potentials in quiet, creative, supportive environments. This may only be possible when we take the time out for our own personal quiet.