Tuesday, 19 July 2011

My 100th Post! No Man's Land

My brain constantly tries to put ideas in meaningful categories . . . "This is a school thought. Now, I'm thinking about religion. This idea is about my personal writing. Thinking about the teaching of writing is happening right now." Over the last several years, writing a blog has been a way to organize many of my thoughts about teaching and learning. Recently, I started a new blog for writing about topics unrelated to teaching. It sounds like I have so many things to write about!

But, for the last several months I really have been experiencing writer's block. One of the Slice of Life Posts, "The Art of Doing Nothing" by Deb Day (also her 100th post, ironically) explores the beautiful art of embracing our free time.

As teachers, we keep our days so jam packed with learning, we are led to believe actively producing "stuff" means you are learning. But, what do I call the time in between when we are just struggling to stay afloat? We cannot piece out where we are headed, where we are going. This is the place I live right now. I live in this no man's land.

When I was in college I became accustomed to this sensation. Each school year I tried many new things, moved back and forth between school and home - I use to call this time of the year purgatory. I hated the feeling, but easily recognized it. Wisely, I knew the time would move me forward toward a new routine that would comfort me soon enough. It has been a while since I have had this feeling of flailing around without direction. Next week I have the opportunity to go to Europe with my fourteen year old daughter. It is going to be an amazing experience for both of us. I find myself so excited and nervous, I find it hard to concentrate on what I should be doing to get ready.

This is such a real part of life - struggle. It feels uncomfortable. I feel out of control. I find myself short tempered with my family. A wise person once said to me, during the tough times we feel dissonance, we just have to learn how to be in it. Now that I listen to myself telling my youngest over the last few days "You have to be patient." I just need to listen to my own words.

No comments: